Uckkkk. w. an F in front

Ergh.
Sometimes I don't even know what to do. It's sick. The night was really good, really good and then in a split second it got really bad. I couldn't even call momma cause it was her birthday and I wasn't going to ruin that for her.

These freakin' things keep coming back and I don't know how to stop them; now dad's gonna get crazy and then I'm really gonna be screwed. They're ruining my whole summer and I can't go blaming Delia if I didn't get it from her (even though I'm almost 100% sure I did). And now Grannie-May has it and I don't know what to do. Cause she said it was from the other day, which means I still have it. I'm stuck.

My whole summer, as of now, is shot. I'm back to my old self loathing ways and I haven't been eating as much as I should. But I feel like crap.And I'm gonna feel even worse after I call momma and dump all this on her.

That's not even the worst of it. I can't talk to mother and it's really messing me up. I miss her alot and I shouldn't. She really screwed me over this time, Grannie-May said she broke her heart too. That's really screwed up. It shouldn't be affecting her. Everything is messed up. I miss Mother, I miss Grandmere, I miss life as I use to know it. I hate this.

I can't think about any of this either or it'll make me crazy; though crazy is pretty familiar to me right now. I have no idea what I should do. I have this world on my shoulders and I feel like bursting. I'm so lost.

xoxoxox.

Clap for them, designing men

I love fashion. I need to find a good fashion blog. Uhm, yeahhh.

FAVORITE [gay] DESIGNING MEN, "Clap and Snap for them!"

Isaac Mizrahi! "Clap for him" He's amazing & can squeeze boobs.

Marc Jacobs!Support him, he's going through a tough time & he's an amazing designer with amazing perfume!

Read me!

NEW YORK - Fashion designer Marc Jacobs has entered rehab.
“Marc made the right decision,” Jacobs’ longtime business partner Robert Duffy told Women’s Wear Daily, which reported the story on its Web site Monday.
Jacobs had previously acknowledged in interviews that he abused drugs and alcohol.
“He’d been sober for seven years. When he relapsed, he wanted to deal with it right away,” Duffy said to the industry newspaper. “According to the experts, such a relapse isn’t uncommon. Thankfully, Marc recognized the problem himself and chose to deal with it. Obviously, our prayers are with him.”
The confirmation that Jacobs was at a treatment facility came on the day that Jacobs received two nominations from the Council of Fashion Designers of America for its upcoming awards. He was nominated in the womenswear and accessories categories.
And those honors were on the heels of three well-received previews of fall collections — one for his namesake brand in New York, one for the younger — and less expensive — Marc by Marc Jacobs label in London, and one in Paris for Louis Vuitton, owned by LVMH Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton SA.
Jacobs is known as a bellwether for upcoming trends. In New York, his fashion shows are always packed with celebrities, with music stars Rod Stewart, Lenny Kravitz, Joss Stone, Harry Connick Jr. and Debbie Harry most recently lining the runway.

Okay. Thought I needed some foxy designers on here, so there they are.
G'night.
Xoxox.

Hell-o!

Hey Diggy-Diggy-Dawg!

Hottness, I need to see some hottness NOW. But I did today...

(1) Redd Dave

(2) Jake

(3) Zach

Now let's talk about #1:

Dave. David. Dave #1(?) Man, I like this kid and I don't know if he likes me back; that'd be a nice change. It really would. Dave is just every girls fantasy or mine & my cousin's atleast. He's tall, tan, handsome, with nice teeth, a nice runner's physique, and he's fun, funny, nice & smart. He's my #1 right now.

Onward, ho! #2

Jake. Man, this kid keeps all of us going, even her. Party Sub next week fer sure. And I definately did let him win today, how could I not with that winning smile, those guns, and that hilariousity. Plus, "I like boys better"; he said that first and everyone was kind like, "Huh?" *Scratches Head* It was a good moment, but when isn't there good moments with him? Well there was a week ago, his grandma passed away and it was just really really sad. Especially, when he didn't want to step up and take his role. Dave, took it... but Jake is still the #1 actor.

The AWKWARDEST for last... #3

Zachary. Today, he was adorable and hott and I wanted him... like 2 years ago. He could have had me then, I just flung myself at him. He's still one that I would hook-up with, but it would be weird cause he's King of Hookups... especially in hottubs. And I don't know how I'd feel if he got with me and then moved on. Maybe a pump (not literally) and dump would be okay with him. It's basically just a looks thing with him, so it would be okay. Just another random hookup. If Dave did that though, that'd be horrible. I'd be a mess & cousin-o would have to mop me up, cause she has already been through it with him.

Today, I succeeded in pissing Chelsea off. Sam and Lindsay were going nuts, cause they were so happy. I didn't mean to piss her off, but I did and now she's stuck with Rachel, which isn't bad... just awkward. I wonder who Asia is with, good thing I'm not; she's nice, just a slacker. And poor Jake just cannot get a break, he got stuck with Coche who is nice, just quiet; that'll be weird for him too. Pissing Chelsea was just a plus when I asked cousin-o. I mean Chelsea's okay, just obnoxious; she's stuck up too. I don't know how Dave deals with that. I thought Cousin-o was BFF close with her, but she's not... so maybe Dave doesn't really like her that much either; that'd be hilarious. Nikk is the only true friend I know she has... poor Chelsea.

Okay. I'm sick and tired of group numéro un. I'm so damn through with them. They are all backstabbing losers. They need to grow up and stop talking about each other. The lying is just unbearable, especially when they think you believe them and they keep going on with it. It's like, "Man, are you retarted?!" No wonder, no one likes them. They're ugly bitches and no one likes an ugly bitch.

Blabbing rant over. "Clap for me!"

Xoxox.