I don't want the world . . .

I don't have a title yet, sue me.

2009-07-09T02:02:00.003-05:00

I've decided that I'm really gonna make use of this babble-journal & post some of my summer writing & possibly college too, as I have no more Friday writer's club meetings. :'[

This piece was inspired by the episode of Supernatural called "Fresh Blood" & the vampire who seduced women by telling them that he would take them "higher than they'd ever been before." Yet, this woman wants to be taken, wants and escape. Why? I don't even know yet.

Here goes:
That night you traipsed into that ramshackle bar is seared into my memory. I was looking for trouble and it found me dressed a suit of tattoos and a wrinkled leather jacket. You were the hog rider I was searching for; one who bought me thimbles of whiskey and fed me deception. You told me you’d take me up so high, I’d never come back down. This was the escape I needed, the danger I was seeking.
I was the one that did not belong there, begging to be taken advantage of, to be left for dead in a vacant alley. I was the shimmering damsel in distress every knight quested for, except I was not praying for a savior, but for a demon, a good time that would make me regret ever driving my little red convertible to the outskirts of town. What did I have left to lose? Everything I had that was worth something was gone already. Why couldn’t I just have some dirty fun?
I should have turned back as soon as I pushed open that swinging door when each dusty man licked his cracked lips at the sight of my body wrapped in a silken cherry dress. I should have turned back when whistles erupted from near the frayed pool table, where surely I could end games just by a toss of my blonde hair. Instead of fleeing I found the bar, batted my eyelashes and was passed free shots from each haggard bar fly; it’d be easier to catch me without inhibitions. What they didn’t know was that I could handle my liquor. I downed two shots and was mulling over my third when you burst through the door.

Concerns: Title?, whether or not this should be about a vampire [I'm not really fond of them, just killing them], is this a strong enough point of view?, are parts of this cliche or is it just me?. Comments, answers to my concerns, & criticism is appreciated & can be reciprocated if necessary.

XOXO,
Kelly

Greased Lightning <3

2009-04-28T22:05:00.004-05:00

Basically, I'm a LARGE slacker. I really want to update this frequently, but I really wanna tell my dirty work story more. I can't commit to anything right now. But, I'm gonna try one post a day over the summer -- maybe, every other day.

Best work flirt story:

He pulls up to my drive thru window, something clicks when I look at him. He's early 20's with tattoos & gorgeous blue eyes. He looks like a semi-straight-edge party guy. Someone that I could seriously get into.
Customer: So that's $3.18?
Me: Yes, sir. (I say this flirtingly)
Customer: Sir? really?
Me: Yeah...
Customer: I like that...
*We lock eyes*
Customer: Say it again.
Me: sir?
Customer: Say "yes sir" again.
Me: Yes, sir. (I'm dying at this point) Oh, I feel dirty. <3
Customer: Maybe you should take a bath?
Me: Maybe?...or a steam shower.
Customer: I actually just took one of those. *He looks squeaky clean, hair done & smells fresh*
Me: Oh, really?
Customer: Yeah, it was nice.
Me: Agreed. <3

I SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM MY NUMBER.
I need to be more BALLSY.
This guy was TRES PARFAIT.

Another great work quote? Crazy haired Chris said that well-done Fish Fillet was like well-done steak. LMFAO! I told him this wasn't such a good comparison. Chris: "How about chicken then?" Me: "You're doing better!"

That's all I got right now, besides sleep & some notes I'm going to PROCRASTINATE on & do in the morning.

XOXO
K

Busy Busy Bee

2009-03-02T12:49:00.002-06:00

Hello poor neglected little blog & bloggers [if there are any still alive out there]!

I just wanted to pop in during the last few moments of free period to say 'hello!' & post a little update.

What has been going on? Hm... *taps finger against bottom lip*
1- I've had the demon virus. The one that makes you feel like you got hit by a Mac truck [or got pummeled by Sam and Dean Winchester, if there are any SPN fans lingering out there] and that has now spread on to both of my parents. Essentially this has just been a hell of a month. Thankfully, it's over and soon we are springing forward.
2- I've been procrastinating on almost everything. But, today I've actually turned myself around and got some stuff done. Just wanted to slack a bit on the internet before I popped back home to do some more homework before class. :[ Wah.
3- Been working a lot, but also spending a lot too. Been going out to lunch, buying coffee, going to estate sales, and going to the movies way too often. I need to slow the crap down.
4- I'm kind of disappointing myself. Haven't really heard back from any colleges besides Hofstra, who are waiting to hear back on if I want a phone interview or not. I really don't want to do a phone interview, because it's impersonal and I don't think I'm going to come across how I want, but it's looking like I'm about to do that. What do you think? And Carthage College in Wisconsin. I honestly don't even wanna go there. I think I'm going to apply to Oakland and Wayne State because they have late deadlines & hopefully it's still not too late. Oh & I missed the Michigan deadline for financial aid by a day. I knew the deadline was soon and was going to get on that this week (for real), but now I've passed it up. Hopefully federal aid will be enough for me.
5- My period still hasn't gotten here. This really confuses me. Nothing has been going on. WTF?!

Well, instead of being wholly theraputic, like blogging is supposed to be, I'm all fired up. Oh & I'm not donating blood at the school blood drive because I'm scared. YEAH, I'M SCARED.

Off to work on some homework and gonna go calm the crap down.
XOXO

Topsy Turvy Thursday

2009-01-29T11:47:00.005-06:00

I have like 587234534 things to discuss when I SHOULD BE working on school work.
It's not like that I have that much, but being in my own little head is so much more interesting.

LET'S SEE:
- I'm lost. My best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, will not return my calls or texts and is most likely not going to show up to the meeting we have after school. I don't know what to do. I'm trying and I'm tired of all this one-way street business. I made the effort and she's not pulling through, like with everything else she half asses. Like I said to my sister, "I hope she doesn't get in to the college she applied to. She is always trying to squeeze by and make it on bull shit." I've finally decided who I want to succeed. Also, she was ignoring her former "love" from that big red fashionable city and he friended me on myspace to check up on her. I'm going to respond to him even if she hasn't talked to him in a long time. She wasn't interested in him anymore and started ignoring him. He deserves to know, right?
- I have a strong urge that just might be wrong. I think I like someone who I shouldn't. And I accidentally shoot innuendos at him, and he noticed because he's a smart-smart-smart guy. He was ignoring me for a while, and now I think I've been really great and won him back. But, he's unavailable. Forever. Damn, I'm not right in the head. BUT, I try to take this "crush" off of my mind and put it on cuties like hottie Ry from work & Monsieur le grand nez aka punk, who has been ignoring me lately.
- This whole exercise thing is hard. I'm trying to keep it up and run every single day, but then I have like 345827385 things to do & I feel bad for shirking on my responsibilities for my vanity. Well, atleast I can use the excuse that I'm getting healthy. Also, my mom and grandpa [who's house I run at] keep buying tasty sweets that I have to keep refusing. I could really use some chocolate too. That stinks.
- My writing has been strange lately. I just don't know what to do about it. I've definitely been listening to Jim Morrison too often, because it's transforming into stuff that I don't even know what I'm talking about. And speaking of writing, my poem aired on January 7th and I feel that it's too late too do anything about it, meaning its too late to tell anyone. Because I didn't when I could have. I mean, I didn't even listen to it. I'm afraid, but also I think I want it to be at the right moment. I want to remember this as mine.
- Hofstra University. I don't know what to do about it. I got a letter saying I got into the college mainly for students that could have done better in school. I do very well in school, it's just that my math grades have always been on the edge of bad and my ACT score was a 21 but then it went up to a 25, with no studying done. A four point improvement is good, riiiiiight? Well, I think it is. I called the college back, gave them the wrong number, so then I had to call back and leave another message, so smooth . . . I know. Now, I'm waiting for them to call me back. DAMN, I really really really want to go there and I know that an in-person interview could help my chances by 1 million% but, I honestly can't even afford to pay my way to go out there right now. *super-sigh*
- Lastly, I know this has taken 12 hours, one of my former BFFs has divulged some serious information, that isn't even true any more, to some of my friends. I told him that in confidence and then he ruined that. So, basically I bitched him out in front of everyone being totally non-specific and he got really scared. After school was over he called me and tried to pry an apology out of me. It wasn't working, my lips and my heart were cold that day. I told him I wasn't going to apologize for something I did successfully. IN YOUR FACE, basically. Now, he keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye to see if I'm paying any attention to him. I could honestly care less if he walked out of my life; he just starts fights, anyways.

OKAY, OKAY, I'm done.
No need to be rude.

XOXO

Wasted Free Period

2009-01-26T12:08:00.003-06:00

I've had some drama in my life lately. And it's been . . . interesting to say the least.

Friday was the start of the drama when, I'm sorry boys, I was about to get a visit by my favorite "aunt". It was going good until I had to buy my sister's shirt for the casual-dance we were going to later. The girls running the shirt table were Amberzombies and didn't talk to anyone besides the people they got drunk with every weekend. Instead of being nice, like I usually am (said with much sarcasm), I shouted across the table and they listend to me like the German's listened to Hitler... maybe that wasn't the best analogy? Other than that my day had been going fine. The dance was awful for me. I think I've outgrown it all, but I had fun hasseling my sister before the dance. Friday, I guess I was just in a bad mood.

Saturday and Sunday were uneventful, peppered with work and hanging out at my grandma's house. Not bad.

Monday finally hit and I was still angry, well just moody I guess. My life has become a pattern and its been hard to break, because all my hours are spent with the same people. Not fun. In thrid hour when I had some time to vent, so I chatted up my fierce (secret) gay (best?) friend about all of this. Note: he actually hasn't come out about being gay yet, but it's as he was wearing on his sleeve, his Calvin Klein sleeve to be exact. Now, GayBFF being chatty was monopolizing the conversation at lunch today and spilled the fact that I was getting claustrophobic (from all of those people). The smotherers reacted shocked, but also as if he was joking. This all bubbled up in a confrontation ending with me telling him, "Boy, you're cute." Esentially, he shouldn't have added more kindling to the fire when he told me not to talk about annoying-girl-in-fourth-hour when he started gossiping about her first!

This is why I'm over with high school. I'm tired of pretending to like people just because they aren't emotionally secure with themselves and need to be liked by everyone. I just want to go to school and leave as fast as possible. Plain and simple.

BUT, Drama has always been a part of my life.
I guess I rub people the wrong way.
Or maybe its that I don't hold back when I'm getting that 'special visit'?

Who else has any catty high school stories?
I know you do.

XOXO
K

Drown it all out!

2009-01-19T17:47:00.002-06:00

It appears that I am a big fatty & a liar. Did I fudge that? *Scratches head* I didn't actually. I need to work on getting some of this weight off & yet I'm still pondering getting le MacDo after Astronomy tonight. Also, I need to blog more because I said I would & I think it helps my work load [venting].

What's been up with me?
- Exams have finally got here & I have done alright on all of them, & have two more tomorrow: math & economics. Woo. I hate numbers.
- I've been getting into on & off fights with my mother because I'm L.I.I. Lazy, Immature, & Iresponsible. SURE, I work & go to two schools, keep my grades up, take advanced classes & don't talk back, unless I'm being called a liar. Sounds good, huh? But, I guess I haven't dusted my room in a while [everything else is in tip-top shape, I make my bed EVERDAY] ... so she cleaned my room. WTF?! We're fine for now, I just gotta clean the house & my room a lot & keep my snarky comments to myself.
- Going out a lot. I've gone to the mall & shopping centers wayyy too many times in the last few days. Even though, I spend $200 on college books. & surprisingly spent more on the skinnier of the two! I'm skint.
- Starting Astronomy at Macomb Community College tonight & started Sociology last Thursday. My professeurs name is Seam & that's what we call him. What happened to RESPECT? My hopes for responsible teachers & someone to look up to, teacher wise, has faded along with Mr. Brian Eovaldi as my AP US History Teacher.
- SUPERNATURAL is back. 'Nuff said. Oh! Dean & Sam, my loves, are both on twitter [even if not run by CW they are fantastically hilarious]. They are @dwinchester179 & @ swinchester583, respectively. ;]
- I've been thinking about posting my outfits on here, not sure how I'm going to take the pictures because the only full length mirror is in my mom's room :[ & also, =I feel fashionably inferior to those like Hipster Musings, Fashion Forestry, Feather, & Style Rookie Tavi. Mehhh. To further the difficulty, my little brother broke our digital camera, so I'm only working with my phone camera which is good quality, just small. Wahhhh.
- I think I've given up on LeMeux, he's just . . . dumb? Yeah, I guess that's the word. He just doesn't get the things I get. But, that doesn't seem to make any sense because his profile paper about his grandpa was sheer literary wonderment, better than mine! & I'm PRESIDENT OF WRITER'S CLUB. Oy-yoy.
- Oh, Obama ranting. 1, 2, 3 GO! Right now, he's pissing me off with this whole volunteering thing. Or maybe it's the people that only do it because he said to do it? Oh yeah, it's them. Why volunteer just because Mr. President said so? It has nothing to do with the government! You might as well be working as a cashier at JcPenney's & telling people "have a nice day" insincerely, because seriously that lady bothered me. There is no dent in good citizenship if it's not sincere. I'm not saying don't volunteer, I'm saying do it if YOU WANT TO not because Mr. Obama told you to. That's all. Oh & study up on FDR, he wasn't as good as you like to believe. *COUGH-Japanese-American-citizensin-concentration-camps-COUGH*

I think that's all. It was A LOT. Sorry?
Be back soon? Tomorrow? [it's a half dayyyy]
XOXO
K

& I salute you with a swagger.

2009-01-04T12:34:00.004-06:00

Hi! I'm baaaaaack!
Ugh, that was totally feigned excitement since I'm sick & my mother thinks I'm faking it. Well, that could be for two reasons: One-I went out last night with my friends & felt a little bad then & Two-I have school tomorrow & hardly have anything done. What, What?! Which brings me to NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS that no one cares about.

Here they are.
As Mr. Obama said, "It's time for change" & I actually agree with him for once.
1- Be more personable: face it, I can be a bitch... a lot. I think people don't deserve it all the time. Although, I commented on someone bitchy on television when I was watching it with mother & she responded by, "No you're not" ...she's never seen me at school. Haha.
2- Do not buy/eat things I don't need. I've been over indulging lately, and that might be why I am quite skint & my waistline is bulging. I could stand to loose a few pounds. If I don't get that Diet Coke, I won't die. REALLY.
3- Be more open-minded & try new things. I'm reading "Twilight," which I'm unabashedly bashed. I still don't like Stephanie Meyer though. Yet, I find Sir Pattinson's singing intoxicating. [check him out:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmgEVbwkZtA&feature=related]
4- Be more of a teenager. No this does not mean I'm piercing my nose or experimenting with drugs. But, I have a myspace, I'm not going to hang out with my parents all the time. I'm going to flirt more. It's a shiny New Year. Also, I'm not as close to a goody-goody as I used to be.
5- PROCRASTINATE LESS. I've not yet put this one into practice. I've actually procrastinated more during break. Hey, tomorrow is school & I have essentially nothing done. :D

That's all.
I think I'm gonna start my homework... yeah. I should start my fifth resolution.
XOXO
K

Detroit, you've put my stories on hold

2008-11-18T16:09:00.004-06:00

EVERYONE TUNE INTO YOUR RADIOS:
I was chosen [in a contest] to read my poem Dear Detroit on Michigan Radio Station WDET Detroit Today. I've been writing poetry for a while, but journalism is my passion; I love to help people. And if I can inspire people by my stories... I'll do that too. Anything to make my mark on the world.
I submitted this poem a while ago, late by the way, and was just informed that they would like me to record me reading soon. :]
I can't stop smiling.

Here it is:

Dear Detroit—
Your crooked sidewalks birthed me
spitting me out in front of the postage-stamp
blue house, home to a grease-monkey,
a gilded hair street urchin. Never ready to make a family commitment.
Thumping bass and ambulance sirens
sang me lullabies only a child of yours would know.

You lifted me up on the bronze fist of Joe,
a Balduck baby and a Grosse Pointe school-girl;
I kept my heart with you, and my brain in another city.
It wasn’t infidelity.
You taught me how to pick raspberries in the alleys of your neighborhood,
how to double-dutch and season collard greens.

Your other children said I didn’t look like you
with my pale-skin and small-butt;
they threw rocks at me.
I’m the cream in your Oreo.

I thrived with you, Detroit, and when the fire
spat us out miles away from your embrace
I accepted it.

I will always be your daughter

XO XO,
K

Story #1

2008-11-17T16:50:00.003-06:00

Well, it seems I have a lot of ketchup to play with y'all. Yes, not "catch up," ketchup. I work in the fast food industry, plus I just read a great fanfic piece about Ruby, Sam, and a bottle of catsup [it was tasty good & can be found here @ Sex, Lies, and French Fries.
This is the first of my stories, I have about 3 of them... possibly more if my life gets exciting. :]

Story Number One:
[The Sidney Crosby Story]

I get home from work and it's the same routine, yet this time I'm eating a grilled honey mustard snack wrap and watching TV by myself. I've just had a fantastically funny work time with Matty and Taylor, who both crack me up. Clare emerges from the firey pits below [the basement] and asks me in her best annoying sister voice, "DidDeetellyou?" repeat this 5 times with me asking "huh?" after each. Finally she asks if Dee [our Aunt] told me about who she met. No she hasn't. She met "your mansh." Here is the point in the story where I point out that my sister is weird and I guess her fascination with Little Jeezy Juicy or whatever his name is inspired this out burst. WAIT. Who is my "mansh?" Jensen [Ackles], Jared [Padalecki], Tom [Welling], Michael [Phelps], who? No, not them. Then who?! Sidney Crosby, she tells me. I then go into fan-girl mode, who wouldn't?! Now, this is the 2nd time everyone else besides me has met famous atheletes - first I invite Phelps to Algonquin to help our "troubled youth" and he shows up 2 years later when my brother and sister aren't even at school... now this.
I promptly grill Clare and she knows nothing more than Sid tipped her a $20 out of $100 order... not too bad. I call Sandy [Dee] and find this out:
-Sid is just as cute in real life.
-He is generous and nice. He paid for his whole table and was nice with Dee's tip.
-The Pens are like brothers, always joking around. They especially poke fun at their Frenchies [either Depuis, Letang, or Fleury] who order "'Am and Eggs" "What's wrong with that?" he asked laughing because of the other 'giggles' at the table.
-He doesn't have that heavy an accent.
-Only I and other Pens fans know the nickname of Marc-Andre Fleury -- FLOWER!! And evne though she's a long time 'ockey fan she didn't know who the esteemed goalie was.
-Jordan Staal [I think it was him, don't quote me on it] is very pushy. His server was not as good as my aunt was, so he didn't get his "6 eggs over easy" in enough time to swallow them whole. He complained to my aunt several times about this, even though she couldn't do anything about it except tell Staal's server. Instead he took the eggs to go and swallowed them presumably on their bus.
-Hockey guys can tell if the cereal is not Special K. The Book Cadillac Hotel restaurant didn't have it, so she brought him Wheaties... not the same thing. He sent it back and asked for Total. Now, I'm not sure who this was, but what is up with hockey players and their cereal? Remember the hockey player who ate dry oatmeal [I used to do the same]? Was this Teemu Salani or Adam Foote... or maybe Vinnie Damphouse? Lemme know.

And that was my Sidney Crosby Story. I hope you enjoyed it. ;]
XO XO,
K

Problems.... 'Errrbody Got Problems

2008-11-12T17:57:00.003-06:00

And boy, do I have boy problems.

First I get to school, late, but make the bus. I successfully tell MG/Rob who were talking about the game about my Aunt's interaction with Sid the Kid and the Penguins [I kinda hate her now :-P] at the Book-Cadilac Hotel Restaurant [I'll post about that later]; MG thought this was sweeeet and Rob complained that Sid was a bitch, so I returned the favor. Then the girls and I talked about faux boyfriend, then at Dakota MG and I talked. AND our legs touched as we talked the whole bus ride back to Chippewa. SO GOOD, RIGHT?!

THEN Meux was checkin' me out in 4th hour, we talked in the lunch line, and he put a little show on by making fun of the kids who went outside by not letting them in [FYI My table is right by the door & his butt shaking antics were RIGHT THERE], and he+his friends were randomly staring in my direction, nodding and talking. WOAH, SO GOOD, RIGHT?! Basically, I know where I got Meux, he likes me too...we just have to talk more.

THEN in 6th hour MG and I were talking about our Francais tee's and decided that a small was... too small. He pulled his shirt really tight on his abs and said that he didn't like it huggin on his abs too much (I totally did), but instead I said, "or lack thereof." He then did a theatrical pout, but I wonder if he was serious. For the rest of the hour, we weren't as chummy. Lesk then made us get into groups for the assignment and we were talking with D, Jules, MC, and Vando. Flirting rose a little by me, but him not so much. Then the group (mostly D/ Jules) decided to go cheat off the mastercopy. MG just had problems in another class with cheating (but he didn't) and recieved a zero for something arbitrary, but since he was so honest about that and said he was going to change, wouldn't this apply to all areas of his life? You would think so. I refused to cheat and then exited our group. I didn't even walk out of class with them and flirted with Tuan (total cute Vietamese Sophmore) to show them. Was that too bitchy? Did I turn him off? I don't know. All I know is that I didn't expect it out of him. He was supposed to stand up with me in things like that and he didn't.

NOW, I'm dealing with that. Since I do like him more than Meux (but not that much). I'm also dealing with what I wanna do this weekend. I work Saturday morning and Sunday night, so I have all Saturday-day and Sunday-day to hang out. I planned on going out to eat with Aunt Coleen, but now since I talked to Situ and Sandy yesterday I said I would go over there. I don't know. I'm just gonna call Aunt Col tomorrow and see if we could just do lunch or something quick on Saturday before Situ's. I haven't seen both in a while (esp. Situ) so it's an equal match. :[

Alright, my chest feels a little lighter now.
I'm going to go try to finish all my homework now. :] Try being the key word. ;]
XO XO,
Kelly

P.S. I say then a lot, huh? Whatevs.

Ah, look at all the lonely people...

2008-11-09T21:02:00.002-06:00

So, after all the hard 'trying' I'm not going to post my contest. :[ The pictures won't post in the way I want them too and no one was going to respond anyways. Everyone that I believe I'm 'internet friends' with never reply anyways.

My weekend turned out to be incredibly drab. Friday night I visited Pap's, since I hadn't been over there in a week, watched That 70's Show and munched on popcorn; then I went home and fell asleep early. Saturday, I woke up early to help at the Retirement home setting up for a show with Clare, Megan, Sabrina, and Marina... we had fun. Sabrina and I gossiped and we both found out we have much more in common than we thought. I worked from 6-10 Saturday as well. Ryan, [Black] Michelle, and Allison worked so I had a good time. Although, faux boyfriend Ry was sick... yet I still teased him about his crazy schemes. I still wanted to knock him over with a big fat kiss, yet sanity stopped me. ;]I fell asleep really late. Today I slept in 'til noon, lounged about the house, and then sent my article in for the paper.

Now. I lay stagnant in my bed, unable to form a coherent thought as I am manifested with the ghost of Sylvia Plath. After watching the movie Sylvia. It was haunting. That paired with "Eleanor Rigby" by The Beatles will really do a girl in.

Sighhhhhh.
XO XO,
Kelly

P.S. Aaron [A] IM'd me while I was watching Sylvia and he sounded, like always, like he missed me. I should hang out with him soon. Definately inviting him to Rock the Mic. :] Is it bad that I like leading helpless ones on? I'm like Queen B, without the motives.

Back on Track

2008-11-03T21:09:00.003-06:00

SO! I unofficially made up with one of my bestfriends, and possibly one girl that it sucks to live without>>> Joana

Here's how I reunited our 'sunken' friendship:
Kellee B{ass} says:
Rumor is you wanted to hash it all out...
Joana says:
i dont want any hashing...i was just waiting for an apology
Kellee B{ass} says:
Well, you don't beat around the bush do you?
Joana says:
you know me very well
Kellee B{ass} says:
Let's just call it a draw. Both of were suffering from dysentery from not seeing each other in such a looooong time.
Joana says:
you bitch! you still manage to make me smile, lol
Kellee B{ass} says:
It was like we were in prison, then came back & forgot who we truly were
Joana says:
if you're going down, you're taking me with you, huh?
Kellee B{ass} says:
Natch. I don't go down without a fight & you know that.

Then we went back on track to talking about politics.
How natch. :]

Sweet Dreams,
K

Only Sometimes

2008-11-02T14:05:00.002-06:00

I felt like giving a post today, because I just did. Hmph!
My life has been boring, but peppered with excitement of chillin' out in the sweet fall air, dancing around, Gossip Girl/Supernatural/my awakened love of Smallville, twittering too much, blog stalking, trying very hard to finish White Oleander, drinking bad cafe au lait, being cold & sleeping 'neath heated blankets, lying to young boys about fictional boyfriends...

My halloween was a non-Halloween. I went with one of my bestfriends, Melissa, to see Zach & Miri Make a Porno 'cause we're 14 year old boys. ;] Yesterday she was supposed to go see Sex Drive with another friend of hers, she's becoming worse than me! While yesterday I baby sit and slept basically all day. :[ Today I should be working on my paper for college writing, but I'm definately procrastinating on that.

Speaking of procrastinating, I was supposed to be working on my article for the school paper about the election and I still haven't gotten any interviews in yet. I guess that's what tomorrow is for. Hopefully it's not too late to get my teacher interviews, but I always think of something!

ALSO, I have new boyfriend. NOT! There's this boy, MC, in my math class who is totally annoying and won't stop talkjing to me all because he has this crush on me. So, I made this plan to have Ryan from my work be my boyfriend, yet Ryan does not know this. I made the plan and my friends Jules & Delone are helping me fufill them in math class (ie. making me talk about Ryan and making the faux-relationship see totally vrai). MC is just too needy & he talks to me way too much, he has a good taste in music, yet his views on the world are completely uneducated as are his taste in fashion; I could never date someone who wore a t-shirt that said "Cereal Killer" on it or someone who wanted to be a mechanic, like my father. I love my dad, but I would like someone who had the drive to learn. ALTHOUGH, most of the boys that I really do like right now, including Ryan, LeMeux, Fix, and V have gorgeous dense heads. :[
In actuality I do like Ryan, but am also crushing on LeMeux in my college writing class & by the way he actually looks me in the eye I can tell he likes me too. Unfortunately I made a comment on Friday, "I totally agree with Riana!" to Melissa across the room when he walked in. Riana commented about his Spiderman costume during lunch and said that his balls freaked her out, I agreed. But I was also strangely turned on by his grabable ass/other bits. ;] I'm a 14 year old boy, what can I say?! MG(who is smart!) is also growing on me and Captain AD(a possible Ivy Leaguer) is still in my heart ofcourse--his mowhawk is tantalizing, as well are the 'hawks of LeMeux, Fix, and V.

I don't know.
ILIKEBOYS.

XO XO,
K

COOL DUDE

2008-10-13T19:39:00.000-05:00

Hello, whomever.

I had this fantastically grand post idea about my family & how much I'm an outcast for not forking over $40, BUT then I decided not to post right now, because of 4 reasons:
1- My coffee has worn off and I'm becoming increasingly tired, thus I cannot focus.
2- I'd rather write a poem or fanfic, probably fanfic (that's what I do, when I'm alone or off task)
3- I have a LARGE math test to study for & I seriously need to reclaim my "that's life" grades from the depths of the C-sea.
4- Toni told me not to & I have to listen to that little girl in my mouth.

XO XO,
Kelly

Ps. Yes, I have been watching The Shining & it is FACKIN' AWESOME.
Pss. I plan on rant-posting tomorrow because I'll have time.

Duppa Bounce!

2008-08-05T12:55:00.000-05:00

Whatta Gwan, Mon?!

So, I'm sitting in my "room" aka the cat's room at my grandma's house & I'm just minding my own business like a quiet church mouse and downloading some super new cool hits, ofcourse and I hear someone mowing the lawn. First, I think, God I'm not that hungry... although I woke up about 3 hours ago and still haven't eaten, and then I think "Ohh Bob, the neigbor, is back from the hospital/crazy-joint," then the noise gets louder until I look out the window and see the most sexiest lawn cutters I've seen, ever. I mean, WOAH, it was freaking nuts out there and me being as ballsy as I am, was about to go out & "read" until I realized I'm still in my PJ's, my hair looks like Amy Winehouse's in a totally bad way, and I'm freaking starving. That'll show me, right? Probably not, becasue now what are the chances I'm going to be at my grandma's on hot lawn-cutting day? Ehhh, Slim to None, because of the wonderful Hamburger Emporium and because school is coming up soon.

And now I'm FREAKING OUT, because I need to apply for college, loans, grants, etc and have no clue how! And I don't know when, where, why, etc etc. And I really have no one to help me!!!! FAH. I'm so lost. And I can ask Aunt Sandy, but now [as in 2:03PM on Tuesday 7/5, she is going to work] and I don't know if I'm visiting soon because I have greasy work to do.

DAMN. Now I'm ranting, hungry, and needing to shower, badly. FARTS. Alas, I guess I will go get ready for the day and possibly figure out what is happening tomorrow [ie. calling home & calling work to see what time I will slave for them tmr].

In the words of M.I.A. I'm going to DUPPA BOUNCE! What?! What?!
XOXOX,
Ranting Kelly

Thought I had more posts than that. . .

2008-07-28T15:43:00.000-05:00

Howdy y'all:

I'm at the stinking Roachville Library, granted they love me here, but it sucks that I'm here. Why am I at the pubic library? [haw, haw] Because my computer has a problem. I don't know what it is, because all I did was unplug it while it was still on and I got some new blue screen about an "unmountable boot volume." Basically it sucks, and I hate sitting in the children's section of the library because I won't be 17 until Aug 7, which is like a week away! Why do I hate sitting in the children's area? Because A] I look like a darned creeper, B] The children look at me strangely, C] It feels like I'm sitting on the floor in their little chairs, D] The Roachville kids are Creepy with a capital C. All consitantly talk about "hot girls/guys" and have myspaces that make them seem older than they are!!! CREEEPY. WTF is going on with today's youth . . . I'm so disallusioned. And one more thing about this damned library: I check out "On the Road" because I've been wanting to read Kerouac for FOREVER and some idiot puts a hold on it! Although, I was messing around before I checked it out, it might have been me, but I doubt it. So, I'm going to do the same for them and not let them have it for a long time! HAH! Two can play that game! I've only read like 2 pages, because Hemingway took longer than I thought. I guess I'll just have to revert to "Catcher in the Rye" before I let that other person have it!

Anyways, I guess I'm going to go buy nailpolish for Senior pics and then stop at Starbucks.

XOXO,
Kellee

PS. I now believe being a Southern Belle, would be fantastic & I'd absolutely want to make a man "wanna be a miniature horse." ;] And this is all because my obsession with hunky-hunky guys and "Behind the Scenes with Supernatural", I've started adopting Jared's Southern Drawl by extending my "i" in "rice" and "bike," for example. I also laugh everytime I think about beer cozy's ["coh-zies"] or as Jen said, "Coo-zies," which he got in a weird Australian fan video of him opening fan sent birthday gifts.

Vous le vous couche avec Jensen ou Alan Ackles? ;]

2008-07-21T21:35:00.000-05:00

"I've got headaches & bad luck, but they couldn't touch you, no-oh:"
-------But, they CAN touch the Ackles'.

I think my future husband and father in law are big fat idiots. I was being creepy and looking people up on whitepages.com, which allowed me to stumble on some disturbing information. BOTH Jensen and his father, Alan, have their addresses and phone numbers listed. Jared Padalecki and Tom Welling are both unlisted and even my Grandma's house is, but not the Ackles's. It's them because Studio City, CA [where Jensen lives] is a "celeb hood," and Alan and the Ackles clan live in Richardson, TX [which is where Jensen grew up, according to all his fansites and wiki].

This is kind of exciting news, 'cause now I can meet 'em, if I'm ever in either area. OR I could be real scrry and call 'em. BUT, I doubt either will answer and I don't know when Jensen is at his house in Cali and when he is in Canada. AND, I don't want to pay for that long distance because if I call from home my 'rents will kill me. I could totally be "headaches and bad luck" to either of them, but then that would mean making my creeperness a real reality and I don't wanna do that.

XOXOX,
Moi

"C'mon hit me! Hit me, hit me, hit me!"

2008-07-19T00:30:00.000-05:00

"Hello Commissioner[s]:"

Saw "Batta" movie today erm . . . yesterday? [as it is 1:33AM]
It was alright. I think the scenes with Joker and Batman lived up to the hype, and especially ANY scene with the Joker. But, other than that it was sub-par. Why?! Because A] Harvey Dent plot line = not drawn out well. What's up witht the coin, where's his back story? Why does he listen to the Joker? They kinda just make him listen to the Joker for no reason, or I didn't get it; what's up with him listening to a painted man in a nurses uniform and "mom" wig? WTF, m8? B]Rachel, who kidnapped her? What happened with the switch-a-roo? C] Is Harvey Dent dead? It was wayyy too short to be anything important. D] The whole mob thing was kinda choppy, Nolan needed to show more of the destruction that the mob was causing. The begining was good to explain that, but it was sorta short. E] Where the heck did Scarecrow/Cilian Murphy go? He's too hot/creepy to only have that little piece.

All I know is that Heath rocked and freaked me out so badly. I wish I woulda payed less, but the whole experience was a good one. The guy that sat in front of me could have been shorter though and I wish I had worn something different and sat near/saw again the Jensen guy, 'cause he looked like a little heavier Jensen and I know it!

"I believe what doesn't kill you makes you simply . . . stranger." And I am more stranger from watching that moooovie.

Okay, I'm going to be illegal and watch movies on my 'puter.
XOXOX,
Kelly

"I'm a cowboy on a steel horse I ride . . ."

2008-07-07T14:40:00.000-05:00

And I'm waw-ned [[wawwww-neddddd]], DEAD OR ALIVE [[DEAD OR ALLLIIIIIIVE]]

Did not "lay in the Hot-Joint takin' the pills . . ."

2008-07-03T14:19:00.000-05:00

Yo:

Yesterday, was probably the best day I've had in a while. Work was completely awful, because half the crew hates me because I screw up and/or I'm sloooow. Yet, my managers had my back and at the end of the day I was practicing my cash skills, 'cause they suck A LOT.

BUT then, at ONE o'clock Michelle, Joana, and Adam picked me up and out of wretched hell and took me to where everything was waiting for me . . . DOWNTOWN. [If you don't know I just referenced a the Petula Clark song, "Downtown." You should listen to it:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GVE7lRZuFM&feature=related]

Anyhow, we walked around the city for a good while, made it to Campus Martius and got us some Au Bon Pain and chilled like Sex and the City plus Mr. Big or some "Sex" guy/ photog in the park.

Afterward, we walked downtown some more, chilled on top of garbage grates, talked to homeless people, rode the people mover, and headed toward Greek Town, where we didn't get lost this time. Aaron, who got us lost last time, was at home incapacited with his busted knee because his doctor was afraid he was going to get robbed. Our main guy that day, Adam aka Shuboy, was our paparazzo and took hundreds of fantastic pictures.

I've actually known who Adam was since middle school, but this year I've finally gotten to know the guy and I think I like him. Whilst they were in the little girls room, and Adam and I were scoping out a Starbuck$ in the Ren. Cen., Ana and Michelle decided we would already be a cute couple. I didn't even like him [that much] by then! He's not that attractive, and not my type, but I guess it's because he is different . . . or something like that.

At Pizza Papalis, Michelle and Ana plotted to put Adam and myself next to one another at the dinner table. I'm not really sure how this happend because I was in the powder room and Adam was still at the table, so he must know I like him a little . . . maybe. Our pizza was great, and sitting next to Adam was kind of electrifying. Then we walked to the people mover and I was racing Michelle up the stairs and I fell; it was hillarious and I laughed a lot. Yet, Adam carrying his pizza did not help me up . . . which he later felt bad for and apologized and I was quite glad about this.

We then went down to the river, where Adam got some great shots of the river and totally missed us girls's dancing and running thru the water. He is always oblivious, yet he's smarter than a tack, which is confusing. It then started to rain, so we began our trekk home at around 8:00PM. Yet, on the highway part of Michelle's tire flew off and we had to pull over to the shoulder, which was a definate first for all except Michelle. Thank-God Aaron was not there for that or he would have flipped, and as he ususally drives this would not have been good. All of us are safe, thankfully, but Michelle was a bit shaken. Adam really took control of the situation and acted like the man we all knew was hiding in those skinny little jeans, which was totally swoonworthy of him to do. Adam's dad and the tow-truck man came soon and I finally figured out that we were right by Verdonckt's Fish Market, the Big Church by Taco Bell, and Same Day which is by the crack house I used to visit with the green walls and Booger and Cheryl.

Michelle ended up taking me home, while Ana drove with the Shuboy's, because I didn't need myself not liking him anymore; I think I like him more than I should. And I got home to some relaxation.

I really shouldn't like Adam and I talked about other guy's all of the time and what I expected out of a guy, etc etc. But, he didn't seem to mind and he was very nice to me, which may have had to do with my tank-top I was wearing . . . oh well, I looked cuuute. BUT, I also like Ian and Enkeled, which could get in the way and I'm jonezing about missing camp for my stupid responsibilites, but I guess I'm growing up and keeping Riana's sisters rule of 3 guys. Oh, speaking of Riana, Adam looked quite intrigued, like Fatjoni, when I spoke of our kiss. Wow, I love the easiness of guys, which is why I could never be a lesbian because girls are too much for me! Hahaha, no really, girls are not for me. I like the angles of a guy's body, the facial stubble, their easiness, and how they interact with each other; guys are great.

Alright, I have to go do my Western Civ. homework so I can kill Enkeled in the class, like always.

xoxox

And he really does...

2008-05-28T17:44:00.000-05:00

Lovers:

This song is true, and I absolutely love it. Vampire Weekend rules... now if only I can find my iPod which has all their tunes on it :[
Playlist - January 26 at out the other...
One (Blake's Got a New Face)
Occident out on the weekendThat's the way that we relaxEnglish Breakfast tastes like DarjeelingBut she's too cute to even askBlake's got a new face (Blake's got a new face)Nastiness will cause your doomTurn and walk back to your roomThe precedent's already set nowYou spend a week in Old San JuanSpanish brownstone with chairs of leatherAnd Spanish waves to roll alongMajesty's not overheardCryptographs can't stand the wordOh your collegiate grief has left you dowdy in sweatshirtsAbsolute horror!

He does and he's gorgeous and I still like 'em. :[ / :]?

English Project

2008-05-27T18:07:00.001-05:00

Hello who's ever out there,

So, I have this project for AP English and it's dragging me down a hill because I honestly haven't really started it yet, because I guess I plan to make this last week hell for myself.
This post is going to be an actual part of my assignment about "10 Random [Blogger] Thoughts."
Here they are up for the taking:
In the words of John Mayer: "Have no fear for givin’ in/Have no fear for givin’ over/You better know that in the end/It’s better to say too much/Than to never say what you need to say again/Say what you need to say" and I'm going to. I'm going to say too much, but in the end I'll know that I'll never have to repeat myself again.
1. Hillary v. Barack
2. Rising Gas Prices
3. War in Iraq, tied to gas prices
4. Childhood Obesity
5. China and the Olympics
6. Gay Marriage
7. Consumerism and the growing CO2 emissions
8. Clean up of Detroit
9. Standards in schools and students not living up to them
10. WALMART = DEATH.

'Olright, I guess I shall do history now and blog layter. hmph!
xoxo

BOOZE

2007-07-04T17:47:00.000-05:00

Hellooooo!

Haha. Booze. Beer. Liquor. I could definintely use some of that.
Maybe I should be like other people of my state and consume a 28.4 gal a year! Psh, beer is the poor man's drink even if the prices are going up.

"What's your offscreen relationship like with your Supernatural brother, Jensen Ackles?"
Jared Padalecki: "We clicked pretty much off the bat – we have similar interests in sports, and we're Texas boys, so we're both laid-back. We like to eat good food, have a good beer, hang out and have a good time."
Even though I would FER SURELY have a beer with those two sexy guys.

I thought a beer post would be necessary as today is the FOURTH of JULY! Our day of independence, our day of defiance to the British, the day Thomas Jefferson started and finished his legacy!
Happy 231st Birthday United States! Also, RIP- Thomas Jefferson and John Adams.
John Adams on the day of national independence and seconds before his death: "Thomas Jefferson lives."
*Oh no he doesn't buddy boy, he died a few hours before you and you just haven't gottten the horse delivered letter, yet.

Xoxoxo.

Uckkkk. w. an F in front

2007-06-27T11:39:00.000-05:00

Ergh.
Sometimes I don't even know what to do. It's sick. The night was really good, really good and then in a split second it got really bad. I couldn't even call momma cause it was her birthday and I wasn't going to ruin that for her.

These freakin' things keep coming back and I don't know how to stop them; now dad's gonna get crazy and then I'm really gonna be screwed. They're ruining my whole summer and I can't go blaming Delia if I didn't get it from her (even though I'm almost 100% sure I did). And now Grannie-May has it and I don't know what to do. Cause she said it was from the other day, which means I still have it. I'm stuck.

My whole summer, as of now, is shot. I'm back to my old self loathing ways and I haven't been eating as much as I should. But I feel like crap.And I'm gonna feel even worse after I call momma and dump all this on her.

That's not even the worst of it. I can't talk to mother and it's really messing me up. I miss her alot and I shouldn't. She really screwed me over this time, Grannie-May said she broke her heart too. That's really screwed up. It shouldn't be affecting her. Everything is messed up. I miss Mother, I miss Grandmere, I miss life as I use to know it. I hate this.

I can't think about any of this either or it'll make me crazy; though crazy is pretty familiar to me right now. I have no idea what I should do. I have this world on my shoulders and I feel like bursting. I'm so lost.

xoxoxox.

Clap for them, designing men

2007-06-01T22:47:00.001-05:00

I love fashion. I need to find a good fashion blog. Uhm, yeahhh.

FAVORITE [gay] DESIGNING MEN, "Clap and Snap for them!"

Isaac Mizrahi! "Clap for him" He's amazing & can squeeze boobs.

Marc Jacobs!Support him, he's going through a tough time & he's an amazing designer with amazing perfume!

Read me!

NEW YORK - Fashion designer Marc Jacobs has entered rehab.
“Marc made the right decision,” Jacobs’ longtime business partner Robert Duffy told Women’s Wear Daily, which reported the story on its Web site Monday.
Jacobs had previously acknowledged in interviews that he abused drugs and alcohol.
“He’d been sober for seven years. When he relapsed, he wanted to deal with it right away,” Duffy said to the industry newspaper. “According to the experts, such a relapse isn’t uncommon. Thankfully, Marc recognized the problem himself and chose to deal with it. Obviously, our prayers are with him.”
The confirmation that Jacobs was at a treatment facility came on the day that Jacobs received two nominations from the Council of Fashion Designers of America for its upcoming awards. He was nominated in the womenswear and accessories categories.
And those honors were on the heels of three well-received previews of fall collections — one for his namesake brand in New York, one for the younger — and less expensive — Marc by Marc Jacobs label in London, and one in Paris for Louis Vuitton, owned by LVMH Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton SA.
Jacobs is known as a bellwether for upcoming trends. In New York, his fashion shows are always packed with celebrities, with music stars Rod Stewart, Lenny Kravitz, Joss Stone, Harry Connick Jr. and Debbie Harry most recently lining the runway.

Okay. Thought I needed some foxy designers on here, so there they are.
G'night.
Xoxox.

Hell-o!

2007-06-01T22:16:00.000-05:00

Hey Diggy-Diggy-Dawg!

Hottness, I need to see some hottness NOW. But I did today...

(1) Redd Dave

(2) Jake

(3) Zach

Now let's talk about #1:

Dave. David. Dave #1(?) Man, I like this kid and I don't know if he likes me back; that'd be a nice change. It really would. Dave is just every girls fantasy or mine & my cousin's atleast. He's tall, tan, handsome, with nice teeth, a nice runner's physique, and he's fun, funny, nice & smart. He's my #1 right now.

Onward, ho! #2

Jake. Man, this kid keeps all of us going, even her. Party Sub next week fer sure. And I definately did let him win today, how could I not with that winning smile, those guns, and that hilariousity. Plus, "I like boys better"; he said that first and everyone was kind like, "Huh?" *Scratches Head* It was a good moment, but when isn't there good moments with him? Well there was a week ago, his grandma passed away and it was just really really sad. Especially, when he didn't want to step up and take his role. Dave, took it... but Jake is still the #1 actor.

The AWKWARDEST for last... #3

Zachary. Today, he was adorable and hott and I wanted him... like 2 years ago. He could have had me then, I just flung myself at him. He's still one that I would hook-up with, but it would be weird cause he's King of Hookups... especially in hottubs. And I don't know how I'd feel if he got with me and then moved on. Maybe a pump (not literally) and dump would be okay with him. It's basically just a looks thing with him, so it would be okay. Just another random hookup. If Dave did that though, that'd be horrible. I'd be a mess & cousin-o would have to mop me up, cause she has already been through it with him.

Today, I succeeded in pissing Chelsea off. Sam and Lindsay were going nuts, cause they were so happy. I didn't mean to piss her off, but I did and now she's stuck with Rachel, which isn't bad... just awkward. I wonder who Asia is with, good thing I'm not; she's nice, just a slacker. And poor Jake just cannot get a break, he got stuck with Coche who is nice, just quiet; that'll be weird for him too. Pissing Chelsea was just a plus when I asked cousin-o. I mean Chelsea's okay, just obnoxious; she's stuck up too. I don't know how Dave deals with that. I thought Cousin-o was BFF close with her, but she's not... so maybe Dave doesn't really like her that much either; that'd be hilarious. Nikk is the only true friend I know she has... poor Chelsea.

Okay. I'm sick and tired of group numéro un. I'm so damn through with them. They are all backstabbing losers. They need to grow up and stop talking about each other. The lying is just unbearable, especially when they think you believe them and they keep going on with it. It's like, "Man, are you retarted?!" No wonder, no one likes them. They're ugly bitches and no one likes an ugly bitch.

Blabbing rant over. "Clap for me!"

Xoxox.

*THEE Oath

2007-05-28T10:28:00.000-05:00

*Thee Oath

On my honor, I will do my best To do my duty to God, myself, my family, my friends, and my country and to obey the THEE Law; To help other people at all times (ie. not be a bum living in my mom's basement) To keep myself physically strong (enough to pound the stuffing out of someone if need be) , mentally awake (to take any test at any time and pass) and morally straight (to always to the right thing, by God, my Guardian Angel-s, and my conscience). I also swear to always uphold a set of standards high enough to reach, but not easily. And to look presentable at any given time. To not talk behind other's backs and to keep my nose out of business that isn't mine, unless someone is being harmed then intervention is necessecary.

That really tickled my fancie. It did, alot. And now, I must go or the powers that be are going to butcher me for sleeping late. Yet this time, I will surprise them with my cleanliness!

Xoxo.

*{Boy Scout Oath}

I is back.

2007-05-27T16:49:00.001-05:00

Hello again, long lost friend.

I know, I haven't blogged in a while and that's not nice. Let's update:
1. Blake is still in my life, my crush on him has smoldered & only a little is still burning.
2. I have new friends. The drama with the others got to be to much & exotic girls are way better anyways.
3. I have really hard classes and hardly have anyother time...I should actually be doing homework right now.
4. Seniors are really hot.
-Dave. Wow. I thought I really liked this kid & I thought he liked me back. But I guess not. It was lust a first sight (on that night). My first encounter wasn't nice, he was a big, fat, jerk and he still is. Jo was right, he is a player and she knew she didn't like him for a reason.
-Andy Mulder. Cute Lunch Boy, that X finally saw! He is just on fire. But, he is a jerk sometimes, so that takes a little away from that. Brittany knows him, so that's a good thing.
-Brendan & Erik. They are just the 2 most rocking-est & hottest seniors. They're voices are amazing & the way they play the guitar makes me wish I was that shiny instrument.
-Kaitlin, Jenna, & Moose. I'm just really gonna miss these girls. They're all amazing people that I'm happy to call my friends. Kaitlin, I will still probably see. Jenna, is off to be a star in NYC. And I have no clue what's going on with Moose, but I hope it's good for her.
5. Friends can be found, even when things are going wrong. There is no need for a group of friends; "float on", in words of Modest Mouse. I have all sifferent kinds of friends and only a few are the same age as me. I love it.
6. Sometimes family can't be trusted. Mom messed everything up again. I really really really want to forgive her, but I can't. She tore that old wound back open again and I'm scared to re-live that. So, I'm choosing not to, for now. Choosy moms choose Jiff, Choosy girls choose Jelly.
7. Fights can always be resolved. Me and Lynda// are back, but not exclusively. She came over the other day, to return something & it was just like old times, except I'm not at blame for any of her (and that group's) problems. So, maybe reconciliation with ma maman is possible... we'll see. Also, the ethnics(family ones) and I hashed it out, but things are back to normal now... more signs that mama and I will be bon.
8. I will not be walked all over & no, Pier One does not sell me as an area rug. I'm thru with taking crap from people & I'm sorry English teacher if I'm not the "little miss" you thought I was. I have an opinion and I'm not taking random idiot stuff anymore. Get with it, get over it, or get out.
9. Next year is going to be harder. But with new challenges comes better teachers and more friends.
10. This is for good measure. I have nothing to put here. WAIT, yes I do. I'm going to be spending some time in the woods with the family... that actually might be fun. It's going to be all Henry David Thoreau, but with people and fun. But, books and philosophy will be packed in my bag.
11. This is throwing good measure off, but I forgot about Dave. Funny, Running, Floppy Haired, Sweet Heart, Cousin's-Ex, Dave. He's amazing & I think he might think the same about me. I really like this kid. And I can tell I do, because it's not a shallow looks thing this time... which was what every other liking I've had has been about. I think this is a new begining for me. Wow. And this is not Senior Dave, so hopefully the name is the only thing they have in common. Or I might have to cry.
12. This is for even numbers and more proven things. Girls like me can have sexy boyfriends. That talking teacher of mine, who is very similar to me, has and absolutely gorgeous boyfriend. There is hope! Even if his eyes are too wide.

Okay, nature and mathematics call.

Ciao Bella.
Xoxox.

Hold me...

2006-10-20T12:27:00.000-05:00

It just so happens I need a dose of testosterone. Things with Grandmere got wicked back this morning and I'm scared. How will our family be able to get on with out her? I don't even know, I usually do... but I don't. She won't like me missing school, but I didn't get to say goodbye, which really upsets me. I love her.

I need a Blake hug right now, a Chris hug, Kellen hug, or even a Paladino hug wouldn't even work right now. I told Blake before I even told my friends; I didn't realize that I like him that much. His hugs just look good, I don't know if it's because he's taller but, it just seems that his would be more enveloping... plus his smell comforts me. I need to see his smile....

I have to do homework. How can I do homework when my love is at the morgue? I don't even know, but I have to get some done, I'm not doing it all in one day. I think Grandmere would be happy about that, me keeping up with my school work. She knows that I'm the most studious, always doig homework... even on Football Sunday. Friday is usually my non-homework day, but I have to have time to say goodbye when the funeral comes. Gah, I feel guilty for wanting to do homework. I really do. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I won't. Good.

My shows are comforting, I should go veg. But I should take a shower. I want to straighten my hair for the day.... I feel even more guilty for indulging myself in comforting things. Why do I feel so guilty?.... she wanted to see her girls, and she didn't and that pisses me off. I should have went Wednesday, mama wouldn't have let me. She would have to me to study.

I feel so angry, there was nothing anyone could do. And now I'm griping about not doing my homework. Eck. I need to go.

Bye, bye Grandmere with your Chantilly perfume and iced tea.

My insides feel all blekkity..

2006-03-17T20:25:00.000-06:00

Hi,
I do believe that someone put my insides in a blender & then shoved them back inside of me. So I guess you could say I don't feel well. Today was very... you know. School was great. My friends rock to the maximum. But I feel supa bad for Kelsey, but she doesn't need pity she needs a friend & that's what I am. Jessica & me are growing closer, so are me & Shelbi//... but me & Lynda// are sorta drifting but that is just a yearly thing.

Today I found out that Blake was a goody-two-shoes (grade wise) like me and it rocked.
(M= Me, B= Blake, C=Chris)
M= So you have homework this weekend? (He had his Honors Bio folder out)
B= No not really.
C= Blake always has extra to do.
M= You turning goody-two-shoes on us Blake.
B= Yep. I've never got a B.
M=Wow, your good.
*Blake is a smart a$$ motha trukka. Yayee.*

Okay, I'm so freaking confused. Chad// was sitting with that Sam girl, I sometimes sit with her in the moringing & she rocks to the maxx...Tommy Maxx, & I'm like wow, unusual. Then I get home & I check out his myspace & the 2 are going out. I totally didn't think I liked him like that. Yes he reminds me of Drake Bell & he's smart & cool but I've known him forever! I've been told by Stacie// that she would TOTALLY want me to go out with him, I always was like, "No...Eww." But there was this one voice on the inside was like,"Yayee!" Well I guess I want what I can't have & the weird thing is I can explain how I feel but I can't stop myself from feeling this way.

I wish I was pretty like Alexis Bledel(aka Rory Gilmore). She is so cool (like Rory), I think she's up there on my famous people who I want to meet list. She's so smart, pretty, & she has a totally hott b/f Milo Ventimiglia (aka Jess Mariano). Plus her fake mom is Lauren Graham(who I also want to meet.) & she plays the coolest character (Lorelai Gilmore, shes so funny, hyper & we have the same sense of humor!!)

That's enough of my gosh-fore-sakin blabbering.
Xoxoxox.

//...hmm.

Don't stop till u reach the top, hommes

2006-03-16T15:27:00.000-06:00

Okay,
Today was pretty great. It started out crappy but then it just got better. Katie was here today, & I’m totally crushing on her b/f Hubert (I know crappy name but who cares). Any-who I could just tell he wanted to rip her apart (he had that glint in his eyes, yah know what I mean?) & every time he would lean in to giver her a kiss on the lips/ cheek, she would lean away & totally avoid it. In my head I was all, “WTF, you don’t deserve him at all!"

Then I seen Blake & he started talking to me about how he's gonna beat me at getting no assingments... don't ask. Then some guy came up & interrupted our convo & he wanted to make a bet with Blake's NCAA thingy he has going on. After the guy left & he got his money Blake was all like, "Did you see where I put that?" But I thought he was talking to one of the 2 Chris' & I'm like, "Me?" "Yeah." and I was all like, "No, because if I was watching your exact movement that would be creepy." But I said that after he found his wallet in his jacket pocket. I totally couldn't find Brett today but that was okay cause I got attention from Blake.

& 2 guys could totally like me. #1: I made up this word: "stickitty" on the way home, cause the bannister was all sticky & gross & I was telling Mike about it. So, today Mike was like," What was that word that you made up... I couldn't figure it out all day." So that means he was thinking about ME all day. No offense to Mike but he's like a girlfriend to me, I can just be myself with him & not have to worry about how I look or anything, I don't see any physical attraction (his looks) at all. #2: Derrek, he's another story. I'm like one of the only people that can get him to really open up. When ever he talks to me he's all smiley & happy & stuff. He's really cute, like Ron Weasley cute. I totally don't think we would look good together at all, but I do kinda like him...aww a little Ron Weasley!!

xoxoxox.

Clark loves me more than his dog.

2006-03-14T19:20:00.000-06:00

March 14, 2006
Love is coming your way, Shannon, and you are likely to be more passionate than usual. Be careful, however, for your enthusiasm for the object of your desire may go a bit overboard at this time. It is quite possible that you have an unrealistic view of the situation. It also could be that someone is leading you on, making you think something that isn't necessarily completely true.

Yes, that was my horoscope for today & it was totally true! Kaitlyn was hanging on Brett & he wasn't really eyeing me when I almost knocked him down the stairs. But, I'll be cute tomorrow so we'll see if he still checks me out as I walk away. Also, I've been giving love out for free & for people I'm not even attracted to. Hubert has also been really hott these days when Katie has been absent. But Katie (his g/f) is back & school now & she stole his time from me & his cute nicknames! Aww, he's blind to me liking him.

Today I totally admitted my Brad crush to Jeff Dennis... of all people! We were talking about all the fights & he said him & Brad had a "scuffle" but nobody really won. Then I just casually said,"OMG, I used to have the biggest crush on that kid." I wonder if John (Brad's best friend) heard my comment. There's something for them to gossip, stare, & point at... crazy hott staring boy!

Yes, I'm doing Fall Out Boy inspired title's now. YClark loves me more that his dogY came from...a dream, well atleast I think it was a dream... hmm.

Xoxox.