Topsy Turvy Thursday

I have like 587234534 things to discuss when I SHOULD BE working on school work.
It's not like that I have that much, but being in my own little head is so much more interesting.

LET'S SEE:
- I'm lost. My best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, will not return my calls or texts and is most likely not going to show up to the meeting we have after school. I don't know what to do. I'm trying and I'm tired of all this one-way street business. I made the effort and she's not pulling through, like with everything else she half asses. Like I said to my sister, "I hope she doesn't get in to the college she applied to. She is always trying to squeeze by and make it on bull shit." I've finally decided who I want to succeed. Also, she was ignoring her former "love" from that big red fashionable city and he friended me on myspace to check up on her. I'm going to respond to him even if she hasn't talked to him in a long time. She wasn't interested in him anymore and started ignoring him. He deserves to know, right?
- I have a strong urge that just might be wrong. I think I like someone who I shouldn't. And I accidentally shoot innuendos at him, and he noticed because he's a smart-smart-smart guy. He was ignoring me for a while, and now I think I've been really great and won him back. But, he's unavailable. Forever. Damn, I'm not right in the head. BUT, I try to take this "crush" off of my mind and put it on cuties like hottie Ry from work & Monsieur le grand nez aka punk, who has been ignoring me lately.
- This whole exercise thing is hard. I'm trying to keep it up and run every single day, but then I have like 345827385 things to do & I feel bad for shirking on my responsibilities for my vanity. Well, atleast I can use the excuse that I'm getting healthy. Also, my mom and grandpa [who's house I run at] keep buying tasty sweets that I have to keep refusing. I could really use some chocolate too. That stinks.
- My writing has been strange lately. I just don't know what to do about it. I've definitely been listening to Jim Morrison too often, because it's transforming into stuff that I don't even know what I'm talking about. And speaking of writing, my poem aired on January 7th and I feel that it's too late too do anything about it, meaning its too late to tell anyone. Because I didn't when I could have. I mean, I didn't even listen to it. I'm afraid, but also I think I want it to be at the right moment. I want to remember this as mine.
- Hofstra University. I don't know what to do about it. I got a letter saying I got into the college mainly for students that could have done better in school. I do very well in school, it's just that my math grades have always been on the edge of bad and my ACT score was a 21 but then it went up to a 25, with no studying done. A four point improvement is good, riiiiiight? Well, I think it is. I called the college back, gave them the wrong number, so then I had to call back and leave another message, so smooth . . . I know. Now, I'm waiting for them to call me back. DAMN, I really really really want to go there and I know that an in-person interview could help my chances by 1 million% but, I honestly can't even afford to pay my way to go out there right now. *super-sigh*
- Lastly, I know this has taken 12 hours, one of my former BFFs has divulged some serious information, that isn't even true any more, to some of my friends. I told him that in confidence and then he ruined that. So, basically I bitched him out in front of everyone being totally non-specific and he got really scared. After school was over he called me and tried to pry an apology out of me. It wasn't working, my lips and my heart were cold that day. I told him I wasn't going to apologize for something I did successfully. IN YOUR FACE, basically. Now, he keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye to see if I'm paying any attention to him. I could honestly care less if he walked out of my life; he just starts fights, anyways.

OKAY, OKAY, I'm done.
No need to be rude.

XOXO

Wasted Free Period

I've had some drama in my life lately. And it's been . . . interesting to say the least.

Friday was the start of the drama when, I'm sorry boys, I was about to get a visit by my favorite "aunt". It was going good until I had to buy my sister's shirt for the casual-dance we were going to later. The girls running the shirt table were Amberzombies and didn't talk to anyone besides the people they got drunk with every weekend. Instead of being nice, like I usually am (said with much sarcasm), I shouted across the table and they listend to me like the German's listened to Hitler... maybe that wasn't the best analogy? Other than that my day had been going fine. The dance was awful for me. I think I've outgrown it all, but I had fun hasseling my sister before the dance. Friday, I guess I was just in a bad mood.

Saturday and Sunday were uneventful, peppered with work and hanging out at my grandma's house. Not bad.

Monday finally hit and I was still angry, well just moody I guess. My life has become a pattern and its been hard to break, because all my hours are spent with the same people. Not fun. In thrid hour when I had some time to vent, so I chatted up my fierce (secret) gay (best?) friend about all of this. Note: he actually hasn't come out about being gay yet, but it's as he was wearing on his sleeve, his Calvin Klein sleeve to be exact. Now, GayBFF being chatty was monopolizing the conversation at lunch today and spilled the fact that I was getting claustrophobic (from all of those people). The smotherers reacted shocked, but also as if he was joking. This all bubbled up in a confrontation ending with me telling him, "Boy, you're cute." Esentially, he shouldn't have added more kindling to the fire when he told me not to talk about annoying-girl-in-fourth-hour when he started gossiping about her first!

This is why I'm over with high school. I'm tired of pretending to like people just because they aren't emotionally secure with themselves and need to be liked by everyone. I just want to go to school and leave as fast as possible. Plain and simple.

BUT, Drama has always been a part of my life.
I guess I rub people the wrong way.
Or maybe its that I don't hold back when I'm getting that 'special visit'?

Who else has any catty high school stories?
I know you do.

XOXO
K

Drown it all out!

It appears that I am a big fatty & a liar. Did I fudge that? *Scratches head* I didn't actually. I need to work on getting some of this weight off & yet I'm still pondering getting le MacDo after Astronomy tonight. Also, I need to blog more because I said I would & I think it helps my work load [venting].

What's been up with me?
- Exams have finally got here & I have done alright on all of them, & have two more tomorrow: math & economics. Woo. I hate numbers.
- I've been getting into on & off fights with my mother because I'm L.I.I. Lazy, Immature, & Iresponsible. SURE, I work & go to two schools, keep my grades up, take advanced classes & don't talk back, unless I'm being called a liar. Sounds good, huh? But, I guess I haven't dusted my room in a while [everything else is in tip-top shape, I make my bed EVERDAY] ... so she cleaned my room. WTF?! We're fine for now, I just gotta clean the house & my room a lot & keep my snarky comments to myself.
- Going out a lot. I've gone to the mall & shopping centers wayyy too many times in the last few days. Even though, I spend $200 on college books. & surprisingly spent more on the skinnier of the two! I'm skint.
- Starting Astronomy at Macomb Community College tonight & started Sociology last Thursday. My professeurs name is Seam & that's what we call him. What happened to RESPECT? My hopes for responsible teachers & someone to look up to, teacher wise, has faded along with Mr. Brian Eovaldi as my AP US History Teacher.
- SUPERNATURAL is back. 'Nuff said. Oh! Dean & Sam, my loves, are both on twitter [even if not run by CW they are fantastically hilarious]. They are @dwinchester179 & @ swinchester583, respectively. ;]
- I've been thinking about posting my outfits on here, not sure how I'm going to take the pictures because the only full length mirror is in my mom's room :[ & also, =I feel fashionably inferior to those like Hipster Musings, Fashion Forestry, Feather, & Style Rookie Tavi. Mehhh. To further the difficulty, my little brother broke our digital camera, so I'm only working with my phone camera which is good quality, just small. Wahhhh.
- I think I've given up on LeMeux, he's just . . . dumb? Yeah, I guess that's the word. He just doesn't get the things I get. But, that doesn't seem to make any sense because his profile paper about his grandpa was sheer literary wonderment, better than mine! & I'm PRESIDENT OF WRITER'S CLUB. Oy-yoy.
- Oh, Obama ranting. 1, 2, 3 GO! Right now, he's pissing me off with this whole volunteering thing. Or maybe it's the people that only do it because he said to do it? Oh yeah, it's them. Why volunteer just because Mr. President said so? It has nothing to do with the government! You might as well be working as a cashier at JcPenney's & telling people "have a nice day" insincerely, because seriously that lady bothered me. There is no dent in good citizenship if it's not sincere. I'm not saying don't volunteer, I'm saying do it if YOU WANT TO not because Mr. Obama told you to. That's all. Oh & study up on FDR, he wasn't as good as you like to believe. *COUGH-Japanese-American-citizensin-concentration-camps-COUGH*

I think that's all. It was A LOT. Sorry?
Be back soon? Tomorrow? [it's a half dayyyy]
XOXO
K

& I salute you with a swagger.

Hi! I'm baaaaaack!
Ugh, that was totally feigned excitement since I'm sick & my mother thinks I'm faking it. Well, that could be for two reasons: One-I went out last night with my friends & felt a little bad then & Two-I have school tomorrow & hardly have anything done. What, What?! Which brings me to NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS that no one cares about.

Here they are.
As Mr. Obama said, "It's time for change" & I actually agree with him for once.
1- Be more personable: face it, I can be a bitch... a lot. I think people don't deserve it all the time. Although, I commented on someone bitchy on television when I was watching it with mother & she responded by, "No you're not" ...she's never seen me at school. Haha.
2- Do not buy/eat things I don't need. I've been over indulging lately, and that might be why I am quite skint & my waistline is bulging. I could stand to loose a few pounds. If I don't get that Diet Coke, I won't die. REALLY.
3- Be more open-minded & try new things. I'm reading "Twilight," which I'm unabashedly bashed. I still don't like Stephanie Meyer though. Yet, I find Sir Pattinson's singing intoxicating. [check him out:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmgEVbwkZtA&feature=related]
4- Be more of a teenager. No this does not mean I'm piercing my nose or experimenting with drugs. But, I have a myspace, I'm not going to hang out with my parents all the time. I'm going to flirt more. It's a shiny New Year. Also, I'm not as close to a goody-goody as I used to be.
5- PROCRASTINATE LESS. I've not yet put this one into practice. I've actually procrastinated more during break. Hey, tomorrow is school & I have essentially nothing done. :D

That's all.
I think I'm gonna start my homework... yeah. I should start my fifth resolution.
XOXO
K