Topsy Turvy Thursday

I have like 587234534 things to discuss when I SHOULD BE working on school work.
It's not like that I have that much, but being in my own little head is so much more interesting.

LET'S SEE:
- I'm lost. My best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, will not return my calls or texts and is most likely not going to show up to the meeting we have after school. I don't know what to do. I'm trying and I'm tired of all this one-way street business. I made the effort and she's not pulling through, like with everything else she half asses. Like I said to my sister, "I hope she doesn't get in to the college she applied to. She is always trying to squeeze by and make it on bull shit." I've finally decided who I want to succeed. Also, she was ignoring her former "love" from that big red fashionable city and he friended me on myspace to check up on her. I'm going to respond to him even if she hasn't talked to him in a long time. She wasn't interested in him anymore and started ignoring him. He deserves to know, right?
- I have a strong urge that just might be wrong. I think I like someone who I shouldn't. And I accidentally shoot innuendos at him, and he noticed because he's a smart-smart-smart guy. He was ignoring me for a while, and now I think I've been really great and won him back. But, he's unavailable. Forever. Damn, I'm not right in the head. BUT, I try to take this "crush" off of my mind and put it on cuties like hottie Ry from work & Monsieur le grand nez aka punk, who has been ignoring me lately.
- This whole exercise thing is hard. I'm trying to keep it up and run every single day, but then I have like 345827385 things to do & I feel bad for shirking on my responsibilities for my vanity. Well, atleast I can use the excuse that I'm getting healthy. Also, my mom and grandpa [who's house I run at] keep buying tasty sweets that I have to keep refusing. I could really use some chocolate too. That stinks.
- My writing has been strange lately. I just don't know what to do about it. I've definitely been listening to Jim Morrison too often, because it's transforming into stuff that I don't even know what I'm talking about. And speaking of writing, my poem aired on January 7th and I feel that it's too late too do anything about it, meaning its too late to tell anyone. Because I didn't when I could have. I mean, I didn't even listen to it. I'm afraid, but also I think I want it to be at the right moment. I want to remember this as mine.
- Hofstra University. I don't know what to do about it. I got a letter saying I got into the college mainly for students that could have done better in school. I do very well in school, it's just that my math grades have always been on the edge of bad and my ACT score was a 21 but then it went up to a 25, with no studying done. A four point improvement is good, riiiiiight? Well, I think it is. I called the college back, gave them the wrong number, so then I had to call back and leave another message, so smooth . . . I know. Now, I'm waiting for them to call me back. DAMN, I really really really want to go there and I know that an in-person interview could help my chances by 1 million% but, I honestly can't even afford to pay my way to go out there right now. *super-sigh*
- Lastly, I know this has taken 12 hours, one of my former BFFs has divulged some serious information, that isn't even true any more, to some of my friends. I told him that in confidence and then he ruined that. So, basically I bitched him out in front of everyone being totally non-specific and he got really scared. After school was over he called me and tried to pry an apology out of me. It wasn't working, my lips and my heart were cold that day. I told him I wasn't going to apologize for something I did successfully. IN YOUR FACE, basically. Now, he keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye to see if I'm paying any attention to him. I could honestly care less if he walked out of my life; he just starts fights, anyways.

OKAY, OKAY, I'm done.
No need to be rude.

XOXO